New Year Resolutions as the Lever for Transforming Confrontation into Cooperation, in 7 Easy Steps
New Year Resolutions can have a big impact on preserving relationships, when geared towards personal behavioral changes. Learning to manage your anger is a big step towards transforming your relationships into more supportive and loving connections, so making you happier and healthier.
Fort Lauderdale, FL (PRWEB) January 2, 2006
New Year Resolutions can have a big impact on preserving relationships, when geared towards personal behavioral changes. Learning to manage your anger is a big step towards transforming your relationships into more supportive and loving connections, so making you happier and healthier.
“Your inability to avoid or manage interpersonal conflicts, is hurting your own health and career,” says Conflict Coach Nora Femenia. New Year after New Year you reflected on the past and promised yourself that this New Year would be different. Is it not that you don’t see what needs to be changed: your anger management skills need to be improved! You had goals and you made “resolutions” that you would accomplish what you failed to accomplish in the past, and yet you repeated the same behaviors in 2005 and did not accomplish your goals. The price now is more angry relationships and perhaps a career stalled or derailed by your inability to work in a team.
Think back to the beginning of 2005. Like most, you started the New Year with the goal of calming down, controlling your breathing, meditating and forgiving more. 2005 was the year you were going also to lose weight, meet someone, get a better job, make more money, or quit smoking. 2005 has come to an end. How many of those goals did you accomplish?
Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.” Why do you expect changes if you keep setting goals the same way? Conflict Coach Nora says, “You need to take a different approach. Unless you are willing to change your approach you will be ending 2006 the same way you have ended 2005 and, once again, nothing will have changed.”
Coach Nora insists, “There is a way for you to achieve your goals by deciding to change your behavior and learn action steps to success. If you do you will develop forward motion and achieve your goals continually.”
Here is the weekly action steps plan, for your most urgent issue that is learning to control your anger and improving your relationships:
1) Become resolved and committed to your goals plan by writing them down and signing your name to them. Here is your plan for this week: change your perception of other people and stop criticizing them.
2) Start out small. Don't think about huge sweeping changes that you dream of. Pick small goals that you can achieve in the next 30-60 days. The first one is: begin finding something to praise in all the people around you. Tell them: “I appreciate when you….”
Read your goals out loud every day and ask yourself what behavior and actions are needed today to achieve them. In the past you made goals and got busy and those goals were quickly forgotten. Remind yourself daily. “What do I need to do to look at the positive aspects of people around me?” Take responsibility if the criticized behavior is somewhat dependent on you (and on whatever resources you could provide to improve it: role modeling, encouragement, training, etc.) Identify at least two different actions each day; write them down.
4) Take the action you decided on that day. Every inch you move forward gets you closer to your goal.
5) At the end of your day, read your goal again out loud and ask yourself how you accomplished the goal for today. Write at least two incidents in which you noticed positive aspects in others and mentioned them to the persons involved. Think: how can you do better tomorrow? Are you getting more proficient in observing real accomplishments?
6) Maintain this daily examination for at least the next 30-60 days.
7) After achieving your goals, immediately make new 30-60 day goals and repeat the process.
Follow these seven steps to success and at the end of 2006 you will be actually celebrating achieving your goals and resolutions.
Conflict Coaching is available to transform conflictive relationships, by delivering the Conflict Mastery Program by which hundreds have implemented successful changes in relationships. Nora Femenia, Ph. D. is a public consultant, full time faculty, an author and a coach. Visit: http://www. norafemenia. com (http://www. norafemenia. com)
Contact: Nora Femenia, Ph. D., Conflict Coach (954) 568 3620
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